can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
