she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
she peed on how many people?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
