He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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