..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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