Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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