Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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