"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
