So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
