Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
