I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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