jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
