Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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