i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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