Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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