I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
