do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
