I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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