do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
