Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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