how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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