I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
