carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
i've created a new STD.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
