some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
