were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
