I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
