O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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