We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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