it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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