It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
