YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Randomize
