kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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