sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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