in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
