I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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