All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
