who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
