Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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