this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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