It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
