tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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