Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
