Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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