Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize