dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
