It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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