Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
