Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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