Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
