you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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