Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
