he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
it's like iHOP with fire
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
