I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
